Welp. I think it’s time I make that new blog.

Trust nobody.

Someone got a hair cut & now they’re totally ugly but that’s good because now I’m not attracted to him as much! Yaaaay! Aha.

Arvin may have an ugly ass girlfriend but he’s still so adorable. That smile, oh my gah.

I hope they break up so I could start talking to him. Damn her! LOL. Ruining my chances with him & shittt.

I am so happy. Honestly, I really am.

Ever since things ended, he looks at me way more than he usual would. It bugs the hell out of me! Like, what do you want? I mean yeah I must’ve been looking back but it’s like he does things to try to get my attention now. What is he trying to do?

My friend says he’s not over me yet & I agree, but disagree. He’s over me but he hasn’t accepted the fact that finally, I’m over him. He hasn’t accepted the fact that I’m not here waiting anymore. He will eventually & then we’ll just ignore each other completely. Maybe I’m just overthinking his looking at me but still, it urks me.

But anyways! I’m happy doe. I feel free.

All of a sudden, I miss you. I just want to talk to you. But I feel like if I tried to, you’d get the wrong idea.

You were just always the one I ran to because no one cared for me the way you did.

I’m just so upset. 4 fucking months of me waiting & crying. 4 full fucking months of time WASTED. It’s just gonna end like this?

I made him say it was over but I saw his hesitation. He didn’t know what he wanted to do or say. I’m so fucking upset! FUCK!

“It’s over.”

I got my closure! I felt so happy after it happened.

But fuck man. I just had the worst dream. Like, it was like I went through the heart break of our break up all over again. I feel like crying.

Is it weird that I want to cry? I just want to cry my eyes out until I’m my eyes are so swollen & tired. Is that weird? Yeah, probably.

I just feel like bawling my eyes out is the only way I’ll shake off this feeling I’ve had for so long. I haven’t bawled my eyes out in months. That’s a good thing but I think everyone needs to cry at least once in awhile.

Shit went down today. Shit’s gonna go down tomorrow.

Closure. That’s all I want. Closure.

I plan on just coming straight home from school all week. I’ve realized that I just need to start coming home & help around the house.

Clean my room, do the dishes, do my laundry, do my homework. So much to do. Only about 3 weeks left of school so I gotta focus on it. My grades are slipping all because I’m getting that “end of the year” mentality. Can’t let that happen.

Lost a friend tonight. He decided to cut off our friendship to get his ex-girlfriend back. I was the main reason they broke up, I guess. Which makes no sense because we’re brothers & I’d never look at him that way.

But I’m really really happy we got to spend all day today together. At least I can say our friendship was in a great state when it ended. We got really close & then our friendship got cut. Really bittersweet. Actually, mainly bitter.

I told him I’d be here though. I told him that his girlfriend will eventually stop hating me & that we’d be able to be friends again with them still being together. I told him that I wanted to talk to her but he doesn’t want me to. It’s all good though, I totally understand. I know how much he loves her.

I feel like I’m gonna end up crying over this but like I said, it’s okay. He’ll be happy with her & I’ll be happy for them & everyone will just be happy.

Well, maybe everyone but me.

I think you do stuff like that because you know I’m gonna see it. But, I ain’t even mad.

Here’s to you & your new happiness. I wish you nothing but the best.

Hi, rude ass anons? Yeah, fuck off.

I thought I’d be able to trust you if you have access to this Tumblr. But if you’re gonna be a bitter ass person & leave me fucked up anon messages - Get over yourself. Really.

I don’t want nor need your fucking negativity so leave me the fuck alone. This is my private blog where I vent. If I have to, I’ll create a new private blog.

God. Fuck you. Ruining my day & shit. I hope you have a bad day as well. Karma, bitch. Karma.